Kammah Lama Ding Dong

I confess that I have had the fantasy of walking up to a cute guy and begin talking about some random academic factoid that I’ve amassed over the years.

And then when he looks at me in total shock, like “what the fuck is she talking to me about neutrinos for?” I will look at him dead in the eye and say in my sexiest voice…

“I’m sorry did I just blind you with…science?”

Ok, after the recipe for baklava yesterday I figured I’d throw y’all a bone. (BTW, you are TOTALLY not allowed to make fun of me for using y’all. I am, in fact, Southern. And I will cut you.)

This one I consider cheating a little bit. Ok, a lot. I don’t use baking mixes when I can get away with it, but this recipe was a special request from a friend and after much searching the web for a simple/quick/cheap recipe, this one was my eventual winner. And, dammit that I’m going to admit this, but…it’s pretty decent. It was a bit drier than I liked the first time around, so I’d recommend putting a “throwaway” slice of bread in your oven when you bake it. For some mystical reason that I can’t explain and am too goshdarn lazy to look up right now, the bread will make your cookies softer. Go figure.

Ingredients:

Duncan Hines Cake Mix, yellow or chocolate chip (honestly though it doesn’t HAVE to be Duncan’s but…well, I used it. And I decided to make the yellow version, in case you wondered.)

1 package of chocolate chips

1 cup of walnuts or pecan, shelled and broken up

1 egg

3/4 cup of cooking oil

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Mix ingredients by hand until thoroughly combined. Drop by large teaspoonfuls on to an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until cookies are slightly browned. Transfer onto a wire rack to cool.

And then look! ZOMG, you made COOKIES!

This is not a recipe for a beginner, I’ll warn you right now. Phyllo dough is…how do I put this mildly…fairly finicky. But if you have enough time and patience this is a FANTASTIC dessert, and the end result is very forgiving of any mistakes you might have made along the way. I think it’s well worth it, but you might want to have a trial run if you plan on making this for Christmas dinner.

(BTW, there are many, MANY different versions of this that you can find all over the web. This one is a bit more complicated than most, but I like the authenticity more and I think the flavor and texture alone are well worth the effort involved to make this. But FEEL FREE to shop around. I will not be offended.)

Ingredients for the baklava:

1 pound of chopped nuts (almonds, walnuts, and pistachios work best; I like an even mixture of all three)

1 pound of phyllo dough (you can find this in your local grocer’s freezer section; I had to go to Tom Thumb to find mine as Walmart didn’t have it)

1 cup of butter, melted

1/3 cup of sugar

1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1/3 teaspoon of ground cloves

Ingredients for the syrup:

1 cup of water

1 cup of sugar

1/2 cup of honey

2 tablespoons of lemon juice

1 cinnamon stick

To assemble:

Thaw your phyllo dough according to manufacturer’s instructions (this may in fact take overnight; if so, yeah, sorry about that). Lightly grease of 9x13 inch pan and preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Roll out your thawed dough and then cut in half with a sharp knife so it will fit in your pan. Cover with a damp cloth to keep it from drying out because if it does you will want to die. Or, like, break shit. Process the nuts into small, even sized pieces (if you have to chop them by hand your wrist will hurt worse than the week you discovered porn *ahem*, so I recommend using a nut chopper or a food processor; I picked up my chopper for about 20 bucks at Tom Thumb). Combine processed nuts with the sugar, cinnamon, and cloves. In a separate bowl, melt the butter.

Ok! Now the fun part! Gently pick up and place a single sheet of phyllo dough into the pan. Using a pastry brush, brush the dough with the melted butter. Repeat this 7 more times until it is 8 sheets thick. Then spoon a thin layer of the nut mixture over the top. Cover that with 2 more sheets of phyllo dough, brushing each one with butter. Continue to repeat the nut mixture and 2 buttered sheets of phyllo until nut mixture is used up. The top layer should be 8 thick, each layer being buttered.

Then cut into 24 equal squares using a very, very sharp knife. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 to 35 minutes or until lightly golden brown, and the edges appear slightly crisp.

While that is baking, make the syrup. Combine the cinnamon stick, sugar, lemon juice, honey, and water in a saucepan. Bring it to a boil (it will do this faster than you expect, so keep an eye on it lest you leave it for justasec to see what’s up on Tumblr and it kind of boils over. Onto everything. Molten sugar everywhere. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, PEOPLE.) then reduce to medium low heat and let simmer for 7 minutes. It should be more “syrupy” than “watery” at this point. Remove the cinnamon stick and allow to cool.

When baklava is done baking pour the cooled syrup over the hot baklava and let it cool for at least 4 hours. (I suggest leaving the house while it does this so you will not be tempted to punish the pan.) Serve.

Over the next few days I’ll be posting a few of my favourite baking recipes, mostly because this time of year I just can’t help myself. I go out into the cold and buy truly ridiculous amounts of flour and sugar and various fixings depending on what exactly I have my twee little heart set on baking and then I get in that tiny little kitchen and start mixing up a storm.

It’s a sickness, really.

So. This is a warning. There will be much butter involved in the next few days. Prepare your arteries now.

faithandbegorrah:

thedisgruntledgradstudent:

luciaislucky:

Panino - Singular form.

Panini - Plural form.

See also:

One cannolo

Two cannoli

Three cannoli

MORE.